October came and went silently with a sunrise. I spent my Halloween working sixteen hours and quietly shedding a tear as I spent the overnight shift taking our Halloween decorations down. With Orson Welles playing "Dracula" on xm's RadioClassics channel; I manned that counter. Half asleep and very random. Quiet as well from time to time which made John think I'd fall asleep at any moment. I refused a drunk woman her cigarettes because she kept cussing me out because prices had gone up again. I chuckled at the costumes I saw and even have a couple pictures I haven't uploaded yet. I mopped the floor and listened to thrilling stories from an era I only see on TV.

Sometimes I wonder if I'd been born in the wrong era. I love the class and the suspense of forties movies. Dancing in nightclubs with an elegant man in a gorgeous ball gown and catching a dinner show preformed by Rita Hayworth or Judy Garland. Forties Hollywood never looked more appealing. But maybe that's just me and the musings of a cashier caught in a rut and wanting so much more but getting so little. Big dreams on a minimum wage paycheck.

My History Professor was talking about life on a minimum wage paycheck yesterday. How hard it was for some people, like he'd just discovered it. I told him that I live that life day to day, paycheck to paycheck, that's why I'm putting myself into more debt and going to college. I want to better myself. To be an author and a historian. But I'm in such a funk I can't seem to get anything on paper. Nothing but notes on 1800s Canada or 1600s China. I want to be able to see myself better in ten years ... but all I see is fog.

I don't know, I'm probably thinking too much again.

So work pretty much sucked tonight. I mean, as soon as I got in today, I had a huge line and no help. Then I find out that I'm part-time... not full-time? How the hell does that happen? All I do is work. I'm trying to get through an eight day stretch, but I'm still part-time? Also, another question. Can your employer really judge how many hours you get by how many cigarettes you sell? We have this two-pack deal thing at work. We apparently have to have our sales at 41%. Those who don't will get their hours cut. I'm fine. I'm at 44% but still. How can they justify that? I don't even think it's legal. And the government is trying to reduce smoking. So we're getting screwed two ways. On one hand, we lose hours and money on our paychecks for not selling cigarettes...and on the other, we have guys that are quitting smoking because the prices are crazy. I don't know. I just don't. It's stupid reasoning, but I guess that's corporate.

I almost had to punch a guy tonight. I don't know what's the matter with me. I don't know if it's because I'm stuck in a rut, or I'm bored or not happy... I don't know. Some guy tried to come after me and Wendy tonight because of the CAT scales.

Every eighteen-wheeler has to have a gross weight of under 80,000. If it's over that, they'll get fined by DOT. And from what I understand, the fines are brutal. As long as your under that set limit, you're fine. A first weigh is nine bucks, a reweigh is a dollar.

Well, the guy apparently had weighed this morning. Granted, he's not even in a big truck, just a pick-up towing a trailer. That was all. We asked for information from his first weigh ticket and he started cussing us out! It's what we HAVE to do. It's what that system REQUIRES to work as expected. We told him that. When I got on the speaker to tell him, he was gone and coming into the store. I called the manager and had him come out while this guy yelled at me and Wendy. Brian even came out of the back to make sure we were okay. I was so sick of him yelling at us and cussing at us, I told him: "Here's the manager, sir, have a nice fucking day" and I went in the back to try and cool my temper. No one berated me for it, no one threatened to write me up. Nothing. Bud even said I did the right thing.

Then, not even five minutes later, another guy started yelling at me. I was ready to throw in the towel at six-thirty and just leave. Get in my car and go home. I called my awesome friend Brad in California state... (yeah, the state) and vented to him over the phone. He told me to grow a pair of balls and stand up for myself. Maybe he's right. I get angry and I cry. Because I can't find it in myself to yell back. It's so annoying and pitiful and I can't break it.

It could have been bad because I'm tired. I've been pulling some late nights with my nose in my history book lately to get my head above water. I'm changing my major to History on Tuesday. Why go for a degree in writing when I break all the rules anyway? If I'm made to write, I'd probably stop and I don't want to give that up. Writing and WoW are my antidrugs lol.

Later guys.

*Digs through her huge DVD collection*

"Sleepy hollow"? Check.
"Nightmare Before Christmas"? Check.
"Shutter"? Hell yes!
Dad's "Alfred Hitchcock" movies? Indeed.

Oh. Off to watch Scary movies with the crew. Because we are awesome enough to be called "The Crew."

let the weekend begin!!

These passed few days have been crazy. But in a good way. Friday I worked a morning shift so I could get the night off. Cassie and I did a haunted-house double feature. I managed to get tickets to Castle Blood so I took Cassie. She'd never been there so, in the rain and the cold we walked down the street to the castle. I was actually pleasantly surprised. I was even caught off guard a few times. Good job. Cassie had a great time. Which is awesome as well.

After the Castle we headed to Demon House. Okay, I remember last year, I remember how crazy it was. But honestly, I was still terrified going in there. I was hoping I didn't have to threaten to punch a clown in the face this time. But, I didn't. Of course, they scared us so bad by the time we got out we wanted to go back in and bust them up. Haha! They didn't have an Exorcist room - which is points on their part because I would have told them to lead me out and let me wait for my friend outside. But they had a crazy child room. The robotic kid in the rocking chair looked so freaking real! And the other girl they had in there was creepy as hell. The clowns didn't bother me at all. I was actually admiring the posters of crazy clowns they had on the wall as we hurried through. I didn't like the labyrinth. Lols! No, if Jareth was in it, that would have been a totally different story. LMAO! Dance magic dance.

Sunday was the last day of Ren Faire. I went to say my goodbyes to road rennies. I kind of cried a little bit actually. I miss working at the faire, but at the same time, I don't. I liked being a patron. But I would have liked to spend more time with the rennies. I got henna again and had my hair braided. I picked up a new tail that I want to wear with my horns on Halloween. Because I want to dress up so badly. I love Halloween, I'm not going to lie. Always have.

Tonight, after I reserved my copy of the new WoW expansion (Lame). Cassie and I hung out at Starbucks for the first time in almost three years. It was really nice. We talked about faire and halloween and all kinds of crazy stuff. We are pregaming Halloween hard core this weekend.

Laters for now, kids!

Random nothingness and blah has been filling my brains lately. My undiagnosed ADD has been in full effect. I can't seem to wrap my brain around anything, I need an idea to run with. Especially concerning my writing. I can't get all the fan fiction out of my head fast enough to make room for the original ideas I have.

Fall's coming and I can feel it. The air is crisper and it's getting colder at night. I felt it yesterday in the breeze, it was warm in the sun and cold in the shade. Hoodie weather has returned to Southwest Pennsylvania. The leaves are starting to change. And the Forks-like weather must be driving die-hard Twilight fangirls crazy!

School is going okay for the most part. Though I think if my professor spent more time teaching us the material rather than trying to diagnose why we aren't learning it, I'd be making better headway. As it is now I have to take my notebook and text to work tonight to try and make sense of the last three chapters we had supposedly covered - yet no one knows? Hm. Granted he's a good guy and I like him a lot. He's funny and down to earth, but he's also a teacher. So teach me something. What a thought! His notes are all scattery so he's hard to follow. I don't know. I'm sure I'll figure it out enough to keep my head above water. I know, it's one class, shouldn't be that overwhelming, but it's the way the class is presented that has me scratching my red head.

I've been up to The Woods. I had some chicken with Digger. I miss him. I guess he's been depressed a lot. Well, yeah, it's coming up on two or three years since cancer took his wife. And stress at work isn't making things easier. I guess they keep raising count but not hiring anyone. He had a small stroke, which broke my heart and reminded me just how old my Digger is. Art was back. I saw him and hugged him. We talked for awhile before I had to leave. Jim in Sides gave me a bunch of Justin's old crap he had left in the drawer in his desk. I'm not sure why he gave it to me... but he did. Last weekend was Justin's birthday and I forgot all about it until a day or so later. I say that's a definite recovery of sorts. Sure, I miss him, but it doesn't hurt as bad anymore. Go me, right? Yeah.... anyway...

Sorry for the rambles. But like I said, my brains have been scattered a lot.

Till next time, Stay Classy DA.